USGA handicap for the weak kneed.

The United States Golf Association is quietly updating it's golfing rules to account for the need for political correctness and non-judgementalism. It is becoming increasingly important to play the venerable old game with a new sense of inclusiveness giving special respect and consideration for the weak kneed, the politicians, transgendered and homosexual players.

The "weak kneed" are the newest protected class as defined by the U.S. Government Office of Personnel Management. The Chapter 17 rules now better define the class as being..."those who carry with them a weak sense of self worth and personal identity consequently, easily insulted and humiliated..." The USGA is recognizing that these players need special consideration up to and including a separate scoring system called the Snivelling Players' Insensitivity Training otherwise known as the new "SPIT" rules. This nows allows for a player whose feelings have been hurt by a particularly incompetent shot may yell "SPIT" after the shot thereby qualifying him for special Spit scoring treatment.